Well, hello sanity.  Fancy meeting you here.

I know we don’t know each other that well, so you’ll have to take my word for it when I say I’m not usually a quitter.  I stick with things I start as long as it makes sense to do so.  Then again, I’m also smart enough to know when to cut my losses.

That being said, I have a confession to make.  I don’t think I’m going to give the training method I’ve started the full two month trail I mentally committed  to.  It’s not that I don’t think it will work- I actually think it might.  It’s not that it’s killing my pride to slow down- true, I’ve had to swallow some pride but I can live with that.  It’s just that I miss my old friend running.  Right now, running is checking my watch every 15 seconds or so, it’s concentrating hard on the task at hand, it’s moving at a pace that doesn’t set me free.

Ok, so I guess it is about the pace a little, but not about pride.  I love running because somewhere out there on my run I push through the stress of the day and I am free.  I reclaim my sanity.  I come home with a clear headed and worn out legs.  I have a fresh perspective and new ideas.  I believe it was Doug Lemov who said in his book Practice Perfect that doing rote tasks frees our mind up for creative thinking.  Running is one such place for me.  I don’t have to think to run, so my mind just goes wanders.  I solve problems, make up stories, rehearse presentations, form opinions…. and on a really good day I go beyond all of that and my mind is just clear.  Me.   The road.  Running.

But these days, running is stressful, and I have to focus a lot to stay where I want with my heart rate.  I’m not clearing my head.  I’m not solving problems.  I’m not even wearing myself out, which may sound a little odd, but there is something wonderful about draining myself both mentally and physically.  Yesterday I came back from a run grumpy and frustrated.  I felt worse for running.  This is not ok.

I started this training shift February 26th, so it hasn’t even been two weeks yet.  I know new things take time, but I also know that I don’t want to feel the way I did after my last run.  And I know how to fix it:  Me, the road, running.  It’s a simple formula really, and it has worked for me for a long time.  That is where I want to be.

I ordered a book on Ultra Marathon running.  It should arrive today.  I’m hoping to find some wisdom there, or at least justification for me to go out and run how I want to.  I’m trying not to to make a snap decision, so arming myself with knowledge seems like a good next step.  Then I can determine what adjustments to training are needed for my new goals.  I’ll keep you in the loop.

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